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A beautiful song, sung by the Judds, has been twirling around in my brain:

Love can build a bridge

Between the heart and mind

Love can build a bridge

Don’t you think it’s time?

Don’t you think it’s time?

My wonderful friend, whom I called Warrior Goddess in my old blog and who will continue that name here, attended restorative yoga with me tonight.  She’s been in a fearsome dark place recently, having spent the last year fighting Stage 3 cancer.  Her treatments, for the most part, are over.  Now comes the hardest period of all for her: learning to live with uncertainty, doubt and fear.

Whenever I become overwhelmed with my own drama, I try to remind myself that my problems are cheesecake and bon-bons compared to hers.

Still, my brain dips and swirls and spins.  It seems to be how I’m wired.  I can’t imagine how I’d be without the occasional yoga class to pull me back toward calmness and serenity.

Tonight, one particular pose – back arched over a bolster, head on the ground, arms spread wide – released something broken in me.  They say that the poses you dislike the most are the ones you need the most.  And there’s something about arching my back, opening my heart to the Universe, that has always been difficult for me.  For all of my purported flexibility, I have very little give in my back.  So emotionally and literally, my heart stays locked and closed most of the time.

But tonight my back was supported.  My chest was expanded.  My heart was wide and exposed.  My mind drifted free.

I cried.

I cried because I have not behaved well.  It doesn’t matter how others behave toward me.  It matters that I can look at myself in the mirror and like the person I see.

I cried because I do not like the cruel, vindictive, unnecessarily harsh person I became.

I cried because old wounds, finally starting to scab over, burst open again, my heart’s blood dripping from them.

I cried because I am weary of the madness.

I cried…because.

I ask this of myself: To forgive, myself and others, and to move on.

Love really does build bridges…between hearts and minds and souls.  And yes, it’s way past time.

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